


Grace and Calamity

by sootnose



Series: Umbracons AUs [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Humanformers, Merformers, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2018-11-29 22:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11450013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sootnose/pseuds/sootnose
Summary: Less than graceful tales about a human and a mer in love.





	1. Troubling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace's rug-washing trip down to the river goes fishy.

The sun beat Grace’s back, gluing dark strands escaped from her bun onto her nape. The coarse brush and soap left lighter swathes on the rug as she brushed it rigorously to get out a year’s dust and grime, whatever remained after a thorough vacuum. Washing her rugs on a pier was her yearly routine, a habit picked up from her childhood home and something she’d stuck to. She missed the scent of the soap she’d used in her childhood.

Using a bucket, she rinsed off the rug until it was sopping wet again, then rolled it up to walk on the roll and squeeze out as much of the water as possible before repeating the process.

She heard a cough and turned to look.  
In the water next to the pier was a girl, using her hands to wipe soap off her tongue and eyes. Teal, webbed hands.  
Grace lowered her bucket.

“Sorry ‘bout the soap.”

The mer waved her hand dismissively. “I was swimming into it.”

“… It’s biodegradable, if that helps any.”

The mer looked up, muscular shoulders encircled by a string of foam. A bright, toothy grin swallowed the lower half of her face.

“I might be forgiving you for hamburger and fries.”

Grace frowned, straight brows knotting together.

“I’m not sure you should be here. All contact between townsfolk and mer should go through your Speaker.”

“My-what-now?”

“You aren’t from around here, are you?”

“Nope!” The mer chirped, still grinning brightly.

Grace pointed down the river. “There’s a pod, living here. We don’t really come into contact with them much, they keep to their, reef or whatever they live in, and we keep out from there. You think they know about your pod?” Grace asked, looking down the the mer.

The mer shook her head so her fins swayed. “No pod. It’s just me, and I’m staying near shore… Didn’t want to be going on others’ territory.”

Grace nodded, picking up the bucket and continuing to rinse the rug. The mer pulled herself up on the pier, leaving her tail hanging in the soapy water. Grace glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

“Still don’t know if you should be here.”

“Aw, why not?”

“We leave the mers be for a reason. It’s safer for all of us”, Grace murmured. “And the soap can’t be good for you.”

The mer seemed unbothered. “So I got out of it.”

Grace walked over the rug roll again, lifting and spreading it out on a railing to dry, her t-shirt going a bit taut around her biceps. She glanced over her shoulder, catching the mer watching her with dark eyes. She didn’t look away when caught. Grace turned to the mer, leaning on the railing despite the rug soaking her clothes, and frowned.

“So is it your doing that people’s fish traps have been empty?”

The mer’s fins flared. “I haven’t _emptied_ them!”

Grace didn’t look impressed. “And then you have the gall to beg me for food.”

“Hey! I’m not begging!”

Grace scoffed at that.

“It’s _way_ less trouble getting few fish from humans than hunting”, the mer said, jabbing the air with her chin. “I guess I could stop doing it for hamburger and fries…”, she continued, coiling her pretty tail on the pier with a flick.

Grace all but growled, pushing the mer down on the pier by the shoulders and grabbing her hands before she had a chance to lash back. Grace held the mer’s hands in one hand, grabbing onto an ear fin and twisting when the mer tried to surge up and bite. The mer stilled with a gasp, eyes wide and dark, the muscles of her tail twitching under Grace.

“You’re not exactly in a place to make demands”, Grace growled in the mer’s face. The mer shivered, then squirmed slightly before stilling again.

Then Grace had a tail draped over her, surprisingly enough that Grace’s arms gave out and she ended up flattened against the mer.

“I changed my mind”, the mer said, way too confident to have ever truly been out of control. “I’ll stop… if you kiss me.” She grinned, tail a deliberate weight holding the human down.

Grace frowned. “What?!”

“You heard me”, the mer sing-songed, waving her claw-tipped fingers with an infuriating grin.

Grace glared.

She pulled the mer into a bruising kiss, and when the mer’s tongue poked out between her lips, Grace slid her tongue into the mer’s mouth alongside it, only to pull back entirely when she brushed the mer’s sharp teeth.

The mer under her blinked her eyes, and Grace noticed they were purple, not black as she’d thought, only the mer’s pupils were blown so wide that no more than a thin sliver of iris was visible.

“'Kay…”, the mer whispered, eyes focusing back on Grace. “For another I’ll be bringing more fish to make up for ones I took”, she continued, still in a whisper.

Grace shook her head and pushed herself off the mer, the mer’s tail sliding off her easily enough despite the couple twitches like the mer wasn’t sure if she should let Grace go. Grace sat up, swiping back hair sticking to her face.

The mer also sat up, scooping some water from the river to moisten her arms and tail before looking over to Grace. She twisted, flopping her tail next to Grace.

“Or I could be letting you touch my tail”, she said. Grace glanced at the mer, closing in on a glower.

The mer lifted her hands, pulling her tail back. “Sometimes humans want to!”

Grace shook her head again and stood up. She was almost off the pier when she turned to jab a finger at the mer.

“If my rugs aren’t exactly where I left them when I come back, I’ll skewer and grill you over a slow fire.” She continued walking. “I hear mer flesh is healthy.”

The mer glanced at the rugs, shrugged, and rolled herself into the river with a splash, glad that the current had carried the soap away.

When Grace came back, the pier was empty. She grabbed her backpack from the shore and carried it onto the pier, dropping the paper bag in her hand aside while she pulled a quilt from the backpack. A rustle of the paperbag had her turning her head fast enough to give her a crick.

“Either you’re eating lots or the other meal is for me?” the mer asked, hugging a paper-wrapped hamburger to her cheek. Grace rolled her eyes, pulling the paper bag over to the quilt. She didn’t make a move to take the hamburger back from the mer.

“Vaah-soy?” the mer read the red stick letters on the paper wrapping.

“Bacon”, Grace corrected. “It’s got bacon and chicken, this one’s beef”, she said, waving the other hamburger.

The mer traded the labelled burger for the beef one and lifted herself onto the pier. She grabbed the paper bag, and after digging out the bags of ketchup and mustard, upended both of the fry cartons into the bag.

“Hey!” Grace protested, pulling the bag over to herself, frowning at the mer. The mer leaned over on her belly and tore off the top of the bag, then picked a fry to eat, looking up to Grace with a self-satisfied smile.

“How come you even eat hamburgers and fries?” Grace blurted.

The mer shrugged. “Easy food. Humans are falling over themselves to feed me for some tricks or getting to touch my tail”, she explained, patting her iridescent flank, almost smug.

“Most mers avoid humans that I know of.”

“Just avoid boats”, the mer said, demonstrating with her hands. “Tourist beaches feed best.”

Grace gestured around. “This isn’t a tourist beach, though. And there are boats here.”

The mer’s eyes grew dewy, her bottom lip wibbling. “Are you wanting rid of me?”

Grace snorted. “Been trying since I saw you.”

“Why’d you get me food, then?” the mer asked, flashing a smirk like mercury.

Grace shrugged, picking a fry from the bag and gesturing at the mer with it. “Figured you’d be less likely to raid fish traps if you weren’t hungry.”

The mer snorted. “Wasn’t going to, anyway.”

Grace studied her. “You’re too comfortable around humans to be wild-born.”

The mer hummed noncommittally, munching on fries. Grace realised that at this rate the mer would eat them all, so she followed suit, ripping open a ketchup bag with her teeth to dip fries in.

“What are you called?” the mer asked after a moment of silence.

“Grace Ayukaeff.”

“My name is Beda”, the mer said, peeling open her hamburger and splaying it open to pick out the cheese slices before reassembling it and digging in.

Grace snickered, shoving a clump of fries in her mouth. “ _Fisshing_ ”, she slurred through the food.

“But I guess you can be calling me Calamity.”

“Bedushka.”

The mer’s fins flared, and she ducked her face down, suddenly finding the hamburger immensely interesting. Grace poked her tail with a bare foot.

“You’ve been flirting at me this whole time, don’t tell me _that’s_ too much for you”, she said, now her turn to grin.

“It’s just being very familiar!” the mer squeaked, and Grace flat-out laughed, a proper belly laugh.

“I had my tongue in your mouth, and _that’s_ familiar?”

“Well, I guess…” the mer murmured, smiling a little.

Grace pressed the sole of her foot against Calamity’s tail and rocked the mer lightly. “You can’t speak Mer languages at all, can you?”

Calamity shook her head, picking at the hamburger and watching Grace, the heavy lids protecting her eyes from the sun, the prominent curves of her cheekbones.

“Mama taught me not much, and then we were being kept in fry pods and we all knew as little.” She pinched Grace’s toes, getting a twitch from the human.

“How’d you end up here?” Grace asked, pulling back her foot.

“I wasn’t growing enough, so they sold me as pet. Over ocean”, she explained, telegraphing with her free hand, “but I got away here.”

Grace looped her arm over her knee, starting on her hamburger.

“Ever thought of joining a pod? The pod here’s been pretty good about captive-borns if what I’ve heard is right.”

Calamity shrugged, leaning over to Grace with a grin. “You wanting me to stay, yes?”

Grace flashed Calamity half a smile. “Maybe, yeah.”


	2. Saving graces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I should split this into a couple separate chapters...

Grace sat on the pier, waiting. If someone had known to ask, she would have denied it, but she hoped Calamity would show up.

As if summoned, an approaching shadow appeared in the water, not quite breaking the surface until nearly upon the pier. The mer launched out of the water and landed on Grace, knocking the breath out of her.

"One from that pod is very angry, you will help me, yes?" Calamity asked in a rush. Grace coughed.

"I'm not good at talking", she said slowly.

"You are not needing to be! Just get me away!"

Grace stared at Calamity, then glanced to the water. Another dark underwater shape was approaching, larger than Calamity’s shadow. Grace shoved Calamity off her and got on one knee, pulled Calamity in her arms, and heaved herself to her feet.

"I have a feeling I'll regret this", she panted as she walked off the pier, leaving behind whoever it was that Calamity had angered. Calamity wrapped her arms around Grace’s broad shoulders, a pleased, halfway smug smile gracing her lips.

Grace kept on walking, mulishly ignoring any looks the passers-by cast her way. "What did you do?" she demanded.

Calamity made a drawn-out noise, glancing to the sky. "I'm not feeling like telling."

"I'm sure I could"—Grace grunted as she hoisted Calamity up a bit to fix her hold—"convince you."

"Ooh, what with?" Calamity asked, eyes shining with mischief. Grace groaned.

"Why don't you tell me?"

Calamity pouted and worried her lip. "I'm wanting to see your place", she decided after a while. "Inside it!"

"Yep, will do. So, what did you do?"

"I'll be telling you when we're there", Calamity sniffed haughtily. Grace rolled her eyes and kept on trekking.

When she got to her apartment, she put Calamity in the bathtub. "... Hot. Cold", she said, pointing at the knobs. Calamity wrung the cold knob in both directions before figuring out which got her water, and put her hands under the stream. Then she brought a hand up, mostly blocking the tap and spraying everything around her with cold water. Grace squealed, trying to block the cold spray with her arms. Grace shook her rms to flick droplets at Calamity and stood there, arms held away from her body, staring at the mer. "... I will murder you."

Calamity flashed a sly grin and pushed herself up from the edge of the tub, using her tail strength for the rest, and surged up, wrapping her arms behind Grace's neck and flopping against her chest. Grace stumbled, suddenly saddled with most of a mer's weight, but managed to keep her balance. Calamity bopped Grace's nose with her own. "Nah. You like me."

A muscle in Grace's jaw tightened, and she glowered at the insufferably accurate mer. She was right. For all Grace acted emotionally constipated, she had a soft spot the size of Yellowstone for Calamity. Grace pulled a particularly unimpressed face and wrapped her arms around Calamity's waist. "So, what did you _do_?"

Calamity's eyes were so innocent that Grace was instantly suspicious. "I was borrowing food."

Pause. "And?"

"Food was in net."

"And?"

"Net was behind hunter."

Grace scrutinised Calamity in silence until the mer started squirming. Grace released her and she let herself land back into the tub.

"I should've left you to be flayed. Remove those idiot genes from the gene pool."

Calamity pouted. "That would mean loss of pretty tail genes", she said, flopping her iridescent-spotted petrol blue tail out of the tub.

Grace glared at the appendage dripping water onto the rug on the tiled floor. "...I will find and deck everyone that ever called your tail pretty", she said.

Calamity cackled. "That would be many people!"

Grace cracked her knuckles. "Just means I'll get to punch more."

Calamity grinned, licking her teeth. "Hot", she commented.

Grace snorted and rolled her eyes at Calamity's antics, face colouring a little. "So, hm, I guess you haven't eaten."

"Well", Calamity said, tapping her chin with her claw-tipped fingers. "I ate (one) bluegill before."

"Just eat what I give you, so you don't need to annoy the Pod mers", Grace grunted and walked out of the bathroom. She poked her dark head back in, phone held aloft. "Smile", she said and snapped a photo.

She went to her kitchen, taking rice from the pantry and setting a frying pan on the stove with one hand, using the other to type. This keeps flirting with me, what do I do? Beneath the text bar, a brightly grinning Calamity presented all of her sharp teeth.

While she turned on the stove and fried the rice a bit before adding in water, her feed filled with encouraging responses. Grace made a face at the phone. "Enablers", she grumbled.

"You eat spicy shit, right?" she hollered to Calamity.

After a brief period of silence, Calamity called back: "Yeah, sure!"

Grace frowned. That break had been suspiciously long. What was the mer up to now? Fapping in Grace's bathroom? Er, probably not. She was probably...

Crash!

... rifling through Grace's stuff.

Grace moved the pan off the hot ring and strode back to the bathroom. Calamity was propped half-over the sink, hands holding the edges to keep herself from falling, a shelf of the press pulled down and a bunch of random old bottles and such strewn around. Grace stepped over and grabbed Calamity by the waist, hauling her back into the tub. She lifted a finger in Calamity's face.

"Rule number one: Don't touch my shit. Rule number two: _Don't touch my shit_."

Calamity shrank back, appearing cowed. Grace didn't believe the act for a second.

"Don't. Move", she hissed, striding out.

When she got back, she found Calamity had pulled over a towel and had wrapped it on her head, dipping the ends in the water in the progress. Grace wasn't in the slightest surprised.

Grace kicked aside a couple bottles on the floor, pulled the towel off Calamity's head, dunked it, and put it back on top of the mer's head. She scooped the mer up with a grunt, towels and all, and carried her to the kitchen, where she lowered her on a raincoat she'd spread across the floor.

Calamity poked at the raincoat.

" _Don't_ judge it. At least now I can keep an eye on your insufferable ass."

Calamity looked around the room. It was rather cluttered, which made Grace with her plain tee, capri shorts and ponytail seem vaguely out of place. Like she should've been in a minimalist black, white and metal kitchen, not... whatever this was. There were cacti and rocks and shells scattered on the windowsill, crocheted pot holders and pots with orange flowers, short lace curtains, multiple rag rugs, cushions on the chairs, dried flowers in a vase on the table and a ceiling lamp with a coloured glass cover.

Grace glanced back as the silence stretched, and found the mer staring around with her maw hanging open. Huh. At least it was keeping her occupied.

Grace turned back to the food, adding in spices and cooking the rice until the water absorbed, then adding in chicken and frying it.

Calamity flopped on her front on the raincoat. "I'm bored."

Grace ignored her, putting food on plates instead and bringing them over. "And food's done", she said, offering a plate to Calamity. Calamity took the plate, and Grace shoved the handle of the fork in front of her. Calamity accepted the fork and stared at it.

"You use it to eat", Grace said after sitting cross-legged down on the floor.

Calamity gave Grace the stink eye and twirled the fork between her fingers before trying to skewer some rice. Skewering a piece of chicken worked better.

"At least you didn't think it was a comb", Grace commented.

Calamity pointed at Grace with the fork. "I have seen humans eat! And, I'm not having seaweed on my head."

Grace gave Calamity an unimpressed look. "It's not seaweed."

"Looks like it! I could totally be pretending to be you if I had seaweed on my head!"

Grace put down her plate and placed her hands by her ears. She didn’t point out they generally looked nothing alike. Calamity's ear fins twitched.

"You, but with prettier ears", she decided. Grace snorted and shook her head.

Calamity skewered another piece of chicken while Grace picked her plate back up, and then Calamity took Grace's example for scooping up rice rather than trying to use the fork to stab things. She gobbled down the food at the speed of light and then offered up her plate. "More?"

Grace sighed and took the plate, getting up to fetch the seconds.

"You'll get fat", she admonished the mer.

"Good!" Calamity said.

“For you, maybe”, Grace muttered while shovelling more curry on the plate.

"You have good fat and muscle", Calamity said primly, leaning back on her arm and pointing in Grace’s direction.

Grace stopped and glared at the plate on the counter, unable to differentiate between the anger and abashment that had her cheeks growing hot. Coming from anyone else she’d have been convinced they were fucking with her and promptly throttled them, but this was Calamity.

"You would be hottest mer", Calamity added, dragging herself over to Grace, pushing off the floor and pulling herself up by Grace's belt loops and shoulders, her powerful tail enabling her to pull off the feat. Grace took half a step back at the sudden weight on her back, a "what?" slipping past her lips. She planted her hands on the counter for balance, on both sides of the stove.

"You would be something big and strong like bull shark", Calamity said liltingly, stroking the angle of Grace’s jaw with the backs of her fingers, her breath ghosting Grace’s neck. "You could be tearing me apart if I wasn't so fast and vicious."

"Is this you sweet talking me?" Grace asked, glancing at Calamity from the corner of her eye.

"Yes."

"It'd work a lot better if you weren't hanging off of my back", Grace said, swallowing with some difficulty.

"This would be much easier in water, yes", Calamity agreed and lowered herself back to the floor.

"That's your problem for pissing off that hunter", Grace reminded her. She poked Calamity with a foot. "Scoot."

Calamity did a weird wiggle-drag-flop-roll back onto the raincoat and lifted the wet towel on her tail this time. Grace offered her the plate, which the mer happily accepted and got to work decimating right then immediately.

Calamity licked her plate clean, which Grace laughed at. Calamity put aside the plate and rolled down on her front, leaning her chin on her hands and gazing up at Grace. "You should be feeding me more often", she said, almost dreamily. Grace put aside her empty plate and lounged, leaning back on her arms. She looked to the ceiling.

"If the Pod won't drive you off."

Calamity's expression darkened, and she grabbed Grace's shirt, moving closer, blocking the light. "Not your problem", she told Grace. "I'm your problem."

Grace's brows took a determined angle. "Yeah. You are."

***

It had taken a bigger fry beating Calamity half to death before it had sunk in, but she had learnt the skill of well-timed submission. Sometimes no amount of tenacity and sheer bullheadedness could save you.

By the time she was almost full grown, even the larger fry had realised that the tenacity and sheer bullheadedness meant that submission was temporary.

Calamity put the well-timed submission to use even though it went against every instinct in her body and offered up the fish dangling by their gills on her fingers.

The hunter slowed to a stop. She questioned Calamity with a sharp whistle.

"I wanted to make amends", Calamity said.

‹ _Apology?_ › the hunter asked, stubbornly sticking to mer even though Calamity was sure she knew at least a little English.

Calamity gritted her teeth. "Yes. Apology."

The hunter took the fish and examined them, seeming satisfied when she turned away.

"I want to talk with your Speaker!" Calamity blurted. "Please", she tacked on.

The hunter turned to look back, then told Calamity to _wait_ , pointing at Calamity's tail. Calamity nodded, understanding the meaning. _Stay right there._

The hunter took her sweet time, though, and the waiting was killing Calamity. She fidgeted, swam in little circles, stopped in her place again in case the hunter would return. She sighed in relief when two mer finally approached. The hunter was accompanied by another mer of a sturdier build and fairly plain colours.

The Speaker greeted Calamity formally in mer and Calamity tried to respond to her to the best of her skill, but this wasn't even the same mer language she had learnt as a fry, and though she had learnt a little during the last three years when running into the occasional local mer in whatever place she had travelled through, her tones were still atrocious.

The Speaker took pity on her and switched to English.

"Fleetfin says you wished to speak."

"Yes! I want to join your pod!"

The Speaker was taken aback.

"I... did not expect this. You... What is your name?"

"Calamity."

The Speaker raised an eye ridge but didn't comment.

"Calamity. In order to join our pod, you must prove you will not be a freeloader. Seeing as you're fit to hunt, that is an acceptable way to prove yourself, but you must learn our hunting grounds and methods."

Calamity nodded rigorously.

"And you must no longer be shorebound."

Calamity's eyes widened. "What?" she squeaked.

"You may no longer go to the human. That is our agreement."

Calamity's fins flared, any sign of submission gone as she screamed in the Speaker's face. "No! She's _mine_!" She caught herself and recoiled, flipping over and taking on an even more exaggeratedly submissive and contrite pose. "No", she said quietly, petulantly.

"That is our law", the Speaker reiterated, not giving an inch. "In fact, we have watched through our fingers your stay on our waters for long enough. We cannot allow those with no regard for our ways to stay.”

Calamity stared at the Speaker, her shock morphing into outrage. She bolted.

The Speaker called to her, but Calamity didn't hear or heed it.

Fleetfin crossed her arms.

‹ _No use going after her, she's too fast._ ›

‹ _I see that_ ›, the Speaker said. ‹ _She'll come to us again._ ›

***

"It's not _fair_!" Calamity shrieked.

"It isn't an unreasonable request", Grace noted, lounging on the pier with her toes stroking the water while Calamity swam back and forth restlessly.

Calamity's gaze snapped up to Grace with fury and an undercurrent of betrayal etched on her face.

Grace lifted her hand. "Wait."

Calamity stayed still, arms fisted at her sides and tail flicks to keep her on the surface resembling more the lashing of a cat's tail than swimming, but she didn't tear off Grace's head verbally or physically.

" I don't _like_ it... In fact, it's (something like 'really fucking infuriating' but stronger). But if they let you flout their laws they're setting a precedent, okay?"

"Maybe you should be talking to her."

"I'm shit at talking. Much better at using my fists, but that isn't going to help here", Grace said, lying down on her back and looking to the sky.

"Better'n me."

Grace lifted her head so she could see the mer.

"I can try."

***

Grace hit the buoy used as a meeting place for any communing with the Pod's Speaker. Calamity swam circles around it while they waited.

Finally the Speaker appeared.

"You just won me a bet with Fleetfin", she said upon seeing Calamity.

Calamity pointed at Grace. "She'll talk to you."

Grace leaned on the edge of the boat with her forearms, looking down at the Speaker.

"Hi", she greeted flatly.

"You will not sway us into stretching our laws for you."

Grace nodded. "Aside from the fact that being too rigid with laws is a crock of shit, especially when the laws are about something as pointless as this–"

The Speaker opened her mouth, and Grace lifted her hand.

"I'm talking. You can't let someone in your pod be above your laws, I get that. I'm not here to change your mind. I want to find a way to compromise."

The Speaker glanced back at Calamity before locking eyes with Grace. "Her possessiveness of you is troubling."

"Hey!" Calamity yowled and lunged towards the Speaker.

"Bedushka."

Calamity stopped and looked to Grace.

Grace raised her eyebrow at Calamity, then turned back to the Speaker. Calamity stayed where she was.

"Your concern is that her behaviour is dangerous... So, you'd rather have her behave dangerously elsewhere, because then it isn't your headache. But she'll still be taking just as many risks, or more, we both know that. I'd rather have her here where I can keep an eye out."

The Speaker frowned. "The devil you know, is what you're saying."

"Close enough."

"I must admit", the Speaker said, again glancing in Calamity's direction, "I wonder about the control you seem to have over her."

Grace straightened, eyebrows shooting up. She looked to Calamity. "Do I control you?"

Calamity laughed so hard she snorted.

"She's that little voice that's telling you not to do stupid things!"

Grace wasn’t impressed. "So, I'm your common sense. Great."

Grace glanced at the Speaker, noting a shift in the mer's demeanour.

"I will discuss with our Elders", the Speaker said slowly. "Perhaps we may find a solution satisfactory for all parties involved."

Grace looked at the Speaker long and hard. "I'd appreciate it."

"Me as well!" Calamity piped up.

The Speaker nodded to them both. "I believe as we have let your presence slide for this long, a while longer will do no harm", she said to Calamity before sinking below the waves.

Grace looked blankly at Calamity after the Speaker parted from their company. "The things I do for your fishy ass", she said.

Calamity swam closer, looking up to Grace with bright eyes. "But you were so good!"

"Like reading an essay in front of class, except I couldn't refuse to open my mouth."

Calamity tilted her head. "What means ‘a nessay’?"

***

Calamity waited for Grace under the pier, humming a tune with mer vocalisations.

Fleetfin had hunted Calamity down, informing her of a new development with a blunt ‹ _The Speaker has words_ ›, or, at least, that was what Calamity had understood she'd said.

Grace visited the pier on nearly daily basis on account of keeping up the news, so Calamity wasn't waiting in vain; soon after getting out of work, Grace strolled onto the pier.

Calamity tapped the boards underneath Grace's feet as she walked above her, and Grace squinted down at her, seeing tiny slivers of her between the boards.

Calamity swam out from under the pier and pulled herself up so she could lean her arms on the side of it.

"Fleetfin said that Speaker has news", Calamity told Grace with no preamble. "I'm thinking we will go to buoy?"

Grace frowned, then nodded. "Yeah, I'll go borrow the boat."

As it turned out, the Speaker and the Elders had found a loophole.

"Pod members aren't to be in contact with humans, as you know", the Speaker explained. "However, it was brought up that in the past, and probably in the present in other pods, there has been a way for a human to become an honorary pod member. As members of the pod, there would be no law forbidding contact between you."

Grace raised her eyebrows. "This doesn't sound like something we just shake on and that's that."

"Traditionally, becoming an honorary pod member has required giving us assistance in a significant time of need. Saving the life of a pod member is fairly traditional, however due to the lack of contact between the Pod and the humans here, I doubt you'd get a chance to perform such a feat."

Grace nodded. "That would've been too easy... And what about the non-traditional approach?"

"Someone in a position of trust must vouch for you."

"That sounds even harder than feat!" Calamity complained, voice going shrill.

Grace carded her fingers through her hair, pushing back stands that had escaped from her braid.

"Actually, I think I know someone."

" _Really?_ " Calamity and the Speaker asked in unison, Calamity excited, the Speaker surprised.

"Yeah, my cousin. We haven't talked in a while, but last I heard she was working closely with mer. It's a bit of a stretch but maybe she can help", Grace said. She pushed her hands in the pockets of her windbreaker and looked down to the mers.

The Speaker turned to Calamity. "It would benefit you to get started with your training as soon as possible. The situation with the human–"

"Grace."

"–Grace, will move at its own pace."

Calamity gnawed at her lip, considering.

"I'll go", she said, eyes flashing and mouth forming a determined line.

Grace nodded and leaned against the railing of the boat. "Then you can bring me fresh fish to repay for all the times I've fed you", she said with a sharp smile and soft eyes.

Calamity grinned. "Of course!" She turned to the Speaker. "When she is one of this pod I can bring her food, yes?"

The Speaker nodded, expression surprisingly kind as she disappeared under the surface.

Calamity didn't follow right away. She looked up at Grace, then sped up to the boat and launched out of the water, took a hold of the railing, pulled herself up and stole a kiss. She let herself fall back to the water and saluted with two fingers. "Be seeing you."

With that, she dove beneath the waves, leaving Grace to gather her bearings with a flash of her teal tail.

Grace let her face fall against her arms and let out a long exhale before straightening up.

She had a call to make.

***

Winona didn't look much like Grace. Her skin was darker, eyes rounder, and there was a firm softness about her save for the jagged scar that crossed over her mouth.

"What do you need?" Winona asked, smiling at Grace on the computer screen.

"How do you know this isn't a social call”, Grace deadpanned.

"Oh, please. Don't tell me you only wanted to see my face."

"No."

"I thought so. So, what is it?"

Grace looked down with a frown, collecting her thoughts.

"I'll just show you", she said, sending Winona the photo of Calamity in her bathtub.

"This is Calamity... Whenever it comes through."

Winona's eyes widened, and she leaned closer to the screen with a frown. She glanced from the photo to Grace, and leaned back a bit.

"Alright, I can see why you'd come to me", Winona said wryly. "Why're they in a bathtub?"

Grace rolled her eyes. "She pissed off a hunter from the local pod and thought my apartment would be a great hiding place. She broke the press in the bathroom, ate me to bankruptcy, soaked my clothes and took a _chomp_ of one of my cacti. Then she wailed for the rest of the night."

"Sounds like a handful", Winona laughed.

"You have no idea."

"Where do I come in?"

"Yes, right.” Grace rubbed her face. "So, Calamity wanted to join the local pod, but they don't allow contact with humans. And Callie hates that. But she can't _not_ join the pod either, because as far as mers go, these are their waters and Callie is an intruder.

"It came up that it wouldn't be a problem if I was made an honorary member of the pod, but I can't exactly pull a helpful feat out of my ass, and I don't have anyone to vouch for me, either."

Winona nodded solemnly. "I suppose this would not help", she said, reaching into her shirt and pulling out a necklace with a pendant like a coin. "It's a token given to honorary pod members", Winona added at the sight of Grace's perplexed face.

Grace was quiet. "So, you could vouch for me", she said finally.

"Technically, yes, though it would have more value coming for a mer. There is the itty-bitty problem of me being here and you being there. That is to say, I suppose a video call would suffice, but..."

"It wouldn't be ideal."

"Exactly. And as much as I love you, love doesn't pay plane tickets."

Grace groaned. "I wouldn't expect you to... I’ll pay half."

Winona considered, then nodded.

"Winnie, I don't say it enough, but I love you."

"You're welcome, honey", Winona said and then added quite nonchalantly: "You're going through a fair bit of trouble for this mer. What's the deal with you two?"

"The fishbutt is my... Gill-friend."

Winona gave Grace the flattest stare. "That was atrocious. Awful. You are an embarrassment."

A grin slowly spread on Grace's face. "Guilty as charged."

"How come I only just now hear of this ‘gill-friend’ of yours?"

Grace shifted uneasily. "I thought you might hate it. You're so protective of mers."

Winona cooed softly. "I trust you, Grace."

Grace gave a small, relieved smile.

"Besides, if I thought any less of you for it, that would make me a hypocrite. Bye now!" Winona waved at the camera and ended the call, leaving Grace to say a flat "What" only to herself.

Grapefruity: What

You did that on purpose

Winnie the Pooh: would you look at the time i gtg! :-)

Grapefruity: >: |

Grace slapped closed the lid of her laptop and looked to the ceiling with her hands crossed behind her neck. Regardless of Winona being a tease, things actually looked up.

Grace didn't need this drama in her life. She got enough of that at work.

***

Even before rescuing mers from the clutches of ill-meaning or plain selfish humans had been a job for Winona, it had been a calling. Winona had fallen in with a group of like-minded people, but activism hadn't been enough for her. Perhaps she was shy and looking people in the eye was hard for her, but she had a willful streak a mile wide. She had needed to _do_ something.

"Morning, Crackup", she greeted one of the rescues, a small hybrid mer who along with his older half-brother had been removed from a fighting mer breeding facility seven months ago. Turbulence, the older mer, had already been in fighting rings.

"Hello, pretty lady, how are things?" Crackup asked, flashing the human a 1000-watt smile.

Winona took a seat on the edge of the pool. "Where's Turbo? I have something to ask the two of you."

Crackup lifted a finger and submerged himself, then came up again. "Should be coming, now."

Turbulence, a great deal larger than either Crackup or Winona, swam up and lifted his arms on the edge of the pool. "Morning, Winnie", he greeted.

"Good morning, sweetie", Winona replied with a smile, holding a tablet with a bright blue waterproof case. She flipped it around. "Do you know this mer?"

Turbulence's mouth dropped open, and he glanced at Winona warily. Crackup was nowhere near as subtle. "Beda!" he exclaimed, leaning on his arms over the edge of the pool. "Where is she? What happened to her, last we knew she was being sold to some yank is she alright I mean she looks happy but sometimes she's looking happy just to be scary–"

Winona bit her lip to hide a smile, waiting for Crackup to run out of steam, which he didn't, but a nudge from Turbulence made him realise that oh, he wasn't giving Winona any chance to answer.

"My cousin called her Calamity", she said, wary of giving the boys false hope.

"That's her", Turbulence said, no doubt in his voice. "She's called, 'Trouble'."

Winona nodded in acknowledgment. "She's on the other side of the Atlantic. According to my cousin, she escaped from whoever bought her, and has been on her own since. Seems like she has taken a shining to my cousin, though."

Crackup glanced sideways at Turbulence and snickered.

"Shush", Winona said. "Now, listen. I will go help them with some, er, trouble they're having with their local pod..."

***

Winnie the Pooh: i have some interesting news

Grapefruity: Yeah?

Winnie the Pooh: we freed a number of mers from a fighting mer breeding facility in the continent this winter

and i showed the photo of calamity to two of them because my spider senses were tingling

calamity is their sister

they said her name is beda?

Grapefruity: Yes

Holy fuck

She'd be ecstatic to hear about this but the Speaker won't like if I keep running there all the time.

Winnie the Pooh: it might be better to wait until i arrive anyway

i got the tickets

Grapefruity: Sure

Winnie the Pooh: i don't want to deal with the airport security, they're so invasive :(

Grapefruity: Sorry :/

***

Grace stood among the bustle of the airport, pilot glasses pushed up atop her head, tapping her foot while waiting for Winona to appear among the amorphous blob of people.

"Everything go okay?" Grace asked when Winona appeared wading through the human mass towards Grace.

"Yes, I’m alright", Winona said with a nod. She followed Grace, out and to the parking lot.

Grace's dark red pickup truck was the sort of car that would've cost and arm and a leg had she bought it new, but had been manageable when she'd bought it used as something of a fixer-upper.

Grace put Winona's bag in the storage space behind the seats and started the car, heading out of the labyrinth that was the airport.

"Do you want to head right for the docks or settle in first?" Grace asked.

"I think I would like to look and feel a tad less like I'm going to a job interview", Winona said, leaning her elbow against the car door and watching the passing scenery.

Grace snorted, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. "That's fair. Want to get some takeout on the way?"

"Sure", Winona agreed.

They got three meals, the third being for Calamity. They brought Winona's bag to Grace's apartment and Winona changed before they were off again, takeout in tow. Winona ate her takeout while Grace steered the boat she'd rented for a nominal price.

"Oh, bollocks", Winona murmured.

Grace turned to glance back at her, and saw Winona picking a sauce-covered piece of rice off her ruched silk scarf. She turned forward again and chuckled.

"Look on the bright side; at least you don't need a separate bib", she called to Winona, who had put the stained spot on her headscarf in her mouth to suck off remaining sauce.

"Go take a long walk off a short pier, honey", Winona said mildly. Grace simply laughed.

Grace made the buoy sing once they arrived and sat with Winona, digging into her takeout.

"Now we wait."

The Speaker surfaced next to the buoy, splashing deliberately, as Winona and Grace were distracted, catching up while waiting for the mers’ arrival. Both women perked up, Grace setting aside her takeout and looking over the boat’s railing to see the Speaker.

“Hi”, Grace said, not sounding very enthusiastic.

The Speaker nodded, craning her neck curiously to see better the unfamiliar human on the boat. She rapped the buoy as almost an afterthought, and soon thereafter Calamity’s head popped to the surface.

Winona walked over to the railing carrying her tablet. “Hello”, she greeted softly, not quite looking at the two mer.

Calamity’s eyes zeroed in on the new voice, and her fins fanned and she bared her teeth.

Grace pointedly cleared her throat, having watched the mer, and arched an eyebrow. Calamity frowned, but her fins tentatively relaxed.

“I expect you would like to speak with members of my pod?”, Winona asked the Speaker.

“Yes.”

Winona tapped at the tablet. A call sound rang out, and a low voice responded. “Hey! You got there safely?” A splash followed his words and another voice, more boyish, joined in. “What’s it like there, show us!”

Winona laughed. “Boys, can you give the tablet to Eddy? We can sightsee later.”

“Yep”, said the low voice, drowning out the other voice’s whining. Soon, there were new voices. Grace peeked over Winona’s shoulder, spotting three mers on the screen as they greeted Winona. “I have the Speaker of the local pod here, I will give you to her”, Winona said, crouching to offer the tablet to the Speaker under the railing.

The Speaker gingerly took the device and greeted the three mers. They exchanged a few words in mer, then the Speaker glanced up at Calamity, who was practically vibrating where she stayed. “Go on, then”, the Speaker said before continuing the discussion with the Elders of Winona’s pod.

Calamity dove, then came up again next to the boat, grabbing a hold on the railing as she was wont to do, tail slamming against the side of the boat as she leaned on the railing with her hands. She leaned further over the railing, crowding Winona. The human took an apprehensive step back.

“Who are you?” Calamity asked, her huge smile all teeth.

Winona glanced up at the mer from under her brows, then looked away, taking another step back.

“Well?” Calamity demanded, leaning in further.

Grace’s hand twitched up, but she aborted the movement. “Besha”, she said in a warning tone.

Calamity glanced at Grace, then withdrew from her precarious front lean a little, sighing in frustration and shifting her weight on her hands, but waited.

“I’m Winona”, the darker-skinned human finally said quietly. “An honorary member of Ceirean's Mouth pod by the name of Windflower, cousin to Grace and here to vouch for her inclusion in your to-be pod”, she continued, voice gaining strength as she went on, and she glared at Calamity’s mouth. “And who might you be?” she added, just glancing the mer in the eyes, not much appreciating the intimidation factor Callie had put into play.

Calamity introduced herself in a sing-song voice, banging her tail against the side of the boat to see if it’d make Winona jump. It didn’t. Grace crossed her arms, but let the little monster have her fun.

The Speaker, having completed her talk with the Elders of Winona’s pod, swam up with the tablet and grabbed a hold of Calamity’s tail with one hand, yanking her back into the water.

Calamity yelped as she fell. The Speaker looked up at the humans. “How did you come to be a pod’s honorary member?” she asked Winona.

Winona fiddled with her fingers a little, looking down as she spoke. “I am part of the pod by blood spilled”, she said, taking a breath and looking up. “An injury while helping free mers captured by humans, in my case.”

The Speaker nodded graciously, and offered the tablet back to Winona. The woman knelt to take the tablet, then stayed kneeled while she tapped on it for a moment.

“Calamity, there is something I believe you would like to see”, she said.

Calamity swam closer. “What?”

The call sound rang out again, and the earlier voice answered. “I’m popular today.”

“Is your brother there?” Winona asked.

“Uh, yeah, he’s”, a splash sounded, “on my back, currently.”

Winona turned to Calamity, whose head was tilted and face pinched. Winona flipped the tablet over and showed the screen to Calamity, and in the process, set the camera on her.

Calamity’s eyes widened and then she squealed shrilly, lunging for the tablet. Winona let her take it when she tugged it out of her hands, though she worried the erratic mer would not return it in a functional order.

The three mers on the video call began babbling a hundred miles an hour, in what Grace figured was some kind of pidgin of Russian and a mer language, from how recognizable words sometimes shifted to mer vocalisations and part of the discussion flew right over her head. It was clear, however, that the three were excited to see one another. Grace folded her arms and leaned her side on the railing, watching Calamity fondly.

Winona stood and smiled, dusting off the skirt of her dress. “This is the best part of my line of work. The happy reunions.”

Grace raised a corner of her mouth in acknowledgment, leaning her elbows on the railing and her chin on her hands.

“So”, she said lowly, looking to the Speaker from the corner of her eye, “What now?”

The Speaker tilted her head. “I don’t follow.”

“About the honorary member thing.”

“I had a ceremony”, Winona commented quietly. “Assuming you will accept Grace, of course.”

The Speaker nodded in understanding. “I can’t make the decision on my own, but…”

Winona reached under her scarf to unclasp her necklace and knelt to offer it to the Speaker. “You’ll need this, won’t you? Seeing as I don’t exactly have diving gear with me. You’ll have to advocate for her on my behalf.”

The Speaker put her hand beneath the necklace, and Winona let it fall onto the mer’s palm. The Speaker closed her hand over it. “Thank you.”

“Hey!” Calamity called, swimming up with the tablet held aloft in one hand. She shoved it at Winona. The human quickly took it before Calamity had any ideas of throwing it onto the boat or something. It was a rugged tablet but that didn’t make it indestructible.

With her hands free, Calamity jumped out of the water, grabbed the railing, and pulled herself up. She looked at Grace with a peculiar sort of sly expression. “No phones?”

“No phones”, Grace confirmed, and shoved Calamity right back into the water. The mer cackled as she resurfaced.

Grace pulled her shirt over her head, toed off her shoes and shed her cut-offs, then shrugged at Winona’s raised eyebrows, flashing a slanted smile before diving in.

Calamity swam loops and circles around Grace, spraying her with water and stroking her arms and feet with her fingers when passing, and after a bit of this Grace stopped turning every which way as Calamity circled her, and just shrugged exaggeratedly up at Winona, who laughed softly at them.

Eventually Calamity calmed down enough to drape herself on Grace, her hands not quite knowing where they wanted to be. Grace put her hands over Calamity’s and stilled them where they encircled her waist. The mer sighed and buried her face against Grace’s shoulder.

“I’m becoming hunter”, she murmured.

“I know”, Grace said.

“I’m gonna be best one.”

“Trying to impress me?”

“Yes.”

“She is hyperactive and undisciplined”, the Speaker commented. “We expected more when she claimed to have been the best hunter in her fry pod.”

Calamity pressed her face into Grace’s back. Grace raised her brows at the Speaker.

“Go on.”

The Speaker crossed her arms, sensing the undercurrent of hostility in Grace’s demeanour. It was unnecessary. “We should have expected that, seeing as it was a captive pod. To her credit, she’s a quick study.”

“Watch out, now you can never say that again”, Grace said, stroking her fingers over Calamity’s arms underwater. “It’ll go to her head. Like having a pretty tail, eh, Beshka?”

“Mm. Maybe. I know I’m awesome.” She leaned her chin on Grace’s shoulder, doing the tail work to keep them afloat, and whispered something in Grace’s ear.

“It’s probably not going to be that easy”, Grace whispered back in a strangled voice.

The Speaker, despite probably not knowing what it was Calamity had said, seemed to get the gist of it. “Calamity has responsibilities to the pod, now.”

“So later”, Calamity said, unbothered, and leaned her cheek on Grace’s shoulder, closing her eyes.

Winona smiled widely as she raised the tablet and tapped the camera button.

End.

...

Calamity picked a piece of food from the takeout reserved for her, raising it up for all to see.

“What’s this?”

“Crayfish”, Grace informed her.

Calamity dropped it into the lid of the takeout container. “Yuck.” She continued picking the bits of crayfish out of the food, repeating ‘yuck’ every time she dropped a bit of crayfish for the next few pieces.

“What’s wrong with crayfish?” Winona inquired.

“They’re creepy-crawly and chewy.”

Grace reached for the bits, but Calamity moved the container out of her reach. “Speaker can have them”, she said. The Speaker hesitantly reached for the food offered her way.

“What gives?” Grace pressed.

“I’m not kissing you after you’ve been eating creepy-crawlies.”

Grace snorted. “Duly noted."


End file.
